I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
