Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
