he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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