mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
