i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
