We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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