yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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