You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
