just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
