I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I am mentally ready for anal.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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