sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
