Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
