I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
