brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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