Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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