Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
