I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
