He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize