Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
