This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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