I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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