i used baking grease as lip gloss
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
