It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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