The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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