well you can't waste a boner
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
