its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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