Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Randomize
