Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
