she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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