Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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