It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
