i jhust puked up my retainher.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize