I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
