The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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