So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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