I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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