Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
