have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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