he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
