I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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