consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Randomize