umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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