i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
