I hate your face
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
