Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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