Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
