It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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