Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
