Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
the raccoons are back...
Randomize