His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
