I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
