You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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