I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
