Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
