Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize