halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
