you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
