I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
