I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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