They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize