At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
