Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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