Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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