you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
