she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She needs sedatives and a leash
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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