Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
