p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
