i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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