walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
