I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
