You're so nebulous sometimes
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
