STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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